Excuse any mistakes and poor writing I am at camp 4 with a foggy brain.
We are waiting in camp 4 now at 8000m to hopefully leave in a couple of hours for the summit.
I have so many mixed emotions. I am excited to get up but very very very nervous because THIS is the real Everest. This 2 month long expedition really all comes down to this. I know everyone says it’s not about the summit, but the journey, but I came here to summit Everest not to just be on Everest. It will be extremely hard and I still don’t know if I have what it takes but I really truly believe that I can do it. I just want to keep going, no matter how slow, but keep moving forward and upward. I will only turn around if there is a risk to myself, but I don’t even want to think about that.
I am getting really emotional hearing both mum and dad on the radio. Mum is talking to me and also sending me some of the comments from the blogs she is posting and it’s reminding me of al of the support I have. It’s reminding me of all of the people I love and care for and I will admit that in this moment it feels like I’m saying goodbye, leaving for the expedition all over again. I know i will be safe but a small part of me is a bit afraid.
I am excited to come home and for this hard work to be over, and excited to get to the top hopefully. I am trying to eat as much as I physically can (which is not much) and drink lots because I will pee right before we leave. I have all of my gear ready and packed and I have checked my oxygen bottles and they have enough pressure.
I am also getting nervous because it is pretty windy now and my guide keeps going out of the tent to chat with other sherpas about the weather. We do have enough oxygen to stay another night here.
update from present Bianca: We ended up waiting this night and staying at camp 4. Nobody made an attempt this night.
